Family Values (Balanga, Philippines)

In the last week or so, Jeremy and I have been going to different areas of Metro Manila visiting relatives. I tell you, its non stop here. Right now, we're in the city where my father grew up. I'm spending the week with my Dad, his sister and my only living grandparent, Mama Te.

Unfortunatley, Mama Te has dimentia and does not remember a lot of things, including who I am. However, I remember when I was 5 years old and living in Texas, my grandma used to make me squat in the bath tub naked, while she'd pour tubs of cold water over me. Its the old skool way of bathing. In most countries that I've been in, this is the method still used by many locals.

Filipino time

We visited Jeremy's talkative aunt in a place called Pulilan, Bulacan. There's not much to do there, other than listen to his aunt... talk. We just spent this last weekend with Jeremy's other relatives in a place called Paranaque. This was more progressive than just talking, he has lots of cousins our age there to hang out with. We went to a few bars, drank a few beers, danced a few moves.

We also visited a place called Tagaytay, a gorgeous setting with the Taal Volcano in the close distance. We did what most Filipino families do, picnic. We awoke at 6:30am in order to be out of the house at 7am. Of course, when you factor in 'filipino time' that means we didn't leave until 9am. We had to finish packaging all the food that was cooked for just the one day, enough food to feed 50 people (granted, there was about 22 of us), take turns taking showers, make sure we have this and that... next thing you know... 9am. Once we arrived we ate, walked around, looked at the shops, took some pictures and once again we ate. After this, we went to one of the cousins' house in a posh area, houses that would make you think you're in the western world, then we ate. We sang some karaoke, then we ate again and went home. Family bonding at its best, eating.

Brand Name Shopping

Filipinos love to ask, 'how much did that cost?'. In fact, they love to shop, if they can't afford to buy something they'll window shop. If they really want to buy something that's out of their budget, they'll borrow money in order to buy it. What do they like to buy? Anything with a brand name label on it, anything that's 'in', anything that will give others the appearance that they're not poor. Its so important to have something that's of some kind of value, in order to look important.

The country is quite poor, but throughout the nation lies enormous bilboards with Filipino celebrities endorsing products of some sort. You cannot go down a street without seeing at least 5 of them, that's of course if you can see through the pollution. On top of this, there lies shopping mall, after shopping mall. I'm not talking, dinky sized street corner malls, I'm talking huge, gigantic malls with the whole lot. The prices in the stores sometimes are quite ridiculous, shoes are basically the same price as at home. But if you think about the minimum wage here, you wonder how on earth anyone can afford anything. Minimum wage is here is around 300 pesos/day, which works out to around $6 USD/day. Go figure.

Wouldn't it make sense for everyone to realize that mostly everyone else is in the same boat? If everyone were to bring down there standards, maybe some money would be saved?

Values

As you may have noticed, I've been talking lots about families lately. The thing is, I've always known in the back of my head that in the Philippines, family is really important. I'm sure that its like this in many other countries within Asia, or the world for that matter, its just that I haven't experience it in my travels thus far. Now that I'm witnessing it, I'm understanding it. Parents take care of their kids, grown up kids take care of their parents, brothers take care of their sisters, sisters watch over their brother's kids, etc, etc. Its never ending. Most kids will try really hard to do their parents proud and get a good education and a good job. If they're lucky, they can find a life abroad and send whatever leftover earnings they have back to their family in the Philippines. Its what my mother's done eversince she moved to Canada 30+ years ago. As Jeremy's aunt explained to us, as well as my Lola's words to me the last time I saw her before she passed away; "...always look behind you, don't forget where you came from, if the person behind you is falling, pick them up, help them to be strong and they will do the same for you...".

Respect

As a child I was taught to always 'bless' an elder. Of course as I got older and similated into Candian culture it disappears. What I mean by 'bless' is to take an older person's hand into yours and raise their hand to your forhead. Here its called 'mano'. I don't see it that often, but its definitley still practiced.

When speaking to an attendant, ie waiters, counter clerks, etc, they're always referred to as 'miss' or 'boss'.

When speaking to someone older than you they're referred to as either 'po' or 'ho', its kinda like saying 'sir' or 'ma'am'.

You never just call your older sibling by their name, you have to add the title in first, such as 'kuya' or 'ate', its disrespectful not to.