Whatevs (Quito, Ecuador)

I´m just sitting at an internet cafe waiting to skype so perhaps I´ll type something.  I´m a little hungover and tired so let´s keep this short. Um.... well maybe that´s all I´ll say.

Work (Quito, Ecuador)

I don´t have much time to write a blog right now. I say this just to prove a point really. Ever since I have started working again, 6 days per week, 8 hours per day, I haven´t had much time of my own. It just goes to show that work really does take away from a lot of the good things in life; a topic that many travellers often discuss, the mundane lifestyle in the western, capitalistic world that we have all been socialized to believe as normal. With all that said, I am really enjoying my hostel job. When I get a chance, I´ll write more about it.

'Work Destroys Life'  - Some grafitti I found in Colombia. 

So, on my one day off that I have had thus far, I went to our sister hostel in a remote valley area called Cotopaxi which is surrounded by tall mountains and glaciers, including the famous one called... Cotopaxi.  There I was able to somewhat relax, but all the guests that were at the hostel were former guests of the hostel in Quito, so I knew everyone and I had to put on my charming smile once more.  Haha, who am I kidding... I´m just a charming guy all around. Not.  Actually, when I had an astrology reading done on me back in Vilcabamba, and anytime that I´ve done a personality assessment, it always states that I am half extroverted and half introverted, and therefore I need my alone time, time to rejuvenate and then I have episodic bursts of outgoingness.

Anyway, yesterday before coming back to work for my 3:00pm shift, I ended up going on a 5 hour horseback riding trip in the mountains with my co-worker Romana and these new friends from none other than Edmonton, AB, Canada.  I have only ridden a horse two times prior, and they were very tranquilo walks. Yesterday was a real ride, where I was trotting and galloping at times, with my horse bucking and naying. Alfonso was my horse´s name, a laid back kinda horse that beats his own drum, but at the same time follows the crowd. By the end of the 5 hours I began to understand his personality and really enjoyed being his companion. I now get why people fall in love with horses and the reasoning for terms like the ´horse whisperer´.

So I returned to work last night at 4pm exhausted (one hour late, but my fellow mates covered us) and then again this morning at 7am. This morning I awoke and pain covered my body, especially my ass, my shoulders, back, abs and legs... well, like I said, most of my body. Then to top it all off, in my 5 story hostel at 2800 meters altitude, I fell on one of the stairs and banged my knee really hard, which hasn´t stopped giving me problems since. Ouch.  Good one Dean.

A New Something (Quito, Ecuador)

I have just rung in the new year with about 30 strangers and acquaintances on the rooftop patio of the hostel that I will begin to work at in 3 days time. I have a large smile on my face, despite that I am essentially alone on new years eve. Being surrounded by strangers gives me comfort that what lies ahead is unknown. I am facing this journey on my own, with the past behind me to give me lessons in life. These strangers are potential friends, potential influences, potential seeds that may feed me towards new directions, new beginnings. the unknown is so exciting, and I am the one who is guiding it, steering the direction of where I will and will not go.

This is now the second new year that I've rung in by myself. But this is perhaps the first in which I feel strong as an individual, with no ties, no one to hold me down.

I am thankful.

Thankful for the year that has passed, with all of it's ups and downs. An unexpected roller coaster ride, which was at times lonely, frightening, depressing, and darkened with dreadful fear. At other times, it was joyful, splendidly delightful, funny, and merciful. I have experienced a pain in my heart, a separation, a tearing of my insides that I had never imagined possible, and on the flip-side a renewal, a re-growth, a re-discovery of life and spirituality that was beneath the muddied surface. I have found a new light, a new life. I am on my own. However, I know that I am not alone. I carry with me my past, my friendships, my family, my colleagues, my clients, my acquaintances, my travel companions, my eyes and insights, my wisdom and ignorance, and most importantly my zest for life, to guide me and inform me. I am grateful for everything that has ever encountered my being to make me who I am today, ready to navigate through a new year, a new beginning, a new door, a new life that is always being re-born.

Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the unknown. Thank you for the past, the present, and what will become of me in the future.

Change and impermanence is the only value I can rely on these days.