The Plateau (Calgary, Canada)

After a small hiatus, I've decided to just keep going, keep writing.  I think in my head, my mental and emotional brain, I've told myself that my adventure, my journey is over. And is it? Not really, although my new-old life seems to pale in comparison to my 53 weeks of traveling.

So where to start? I've been home sick for nearly a full week, but have thankfully gone out a little here and there, even to work. Gee, I've been back to my old job for only 2 weeks and have already had to take two sick days. Strep throat sucks and I think all this seclusion is making me go nutty. Then again, perhaps all this time alone at home is a good thing for me. It's the most I've been at home ever since I've returned to Canada.

Returning home to Canada I knew was going to be rough, I had these expectations already. Living at home with my mother and my brother is something I'm no longer accustomed to, seeing as though I've lived on my own (or with my ex) for the last 12 or so years. I feel somewhat jailed, exiled in the South East of Calgary, haunted by childhood memories as I drive, walk, and run through my neighborhood. I wonder if I'm the only one of my childhood friends that still lives around here. I wonder if I can grab my bike and ride up to their homes, ring the doorbell and ask if they can come out and play. I wouldn't mind it actually. I wouldn't mind a friend that lives close by. But no, the majority of my friends are living inner city, or with their families in their big houses somewhere in the burbs. But not here.

Everything seems so anti-climactic. The dream should have continued on. I should be in Brazil or Africa by now. But no, I am at my old job, in the same position, in the same office, with the same phone number, email, and contacts. Where's the challenge? Where's the adventure? What exactly is the next part of my journey? I feel like I have regressed. I feel like I have awaken from a coma, I wake up and it is simply just a different date on the newspaper heading, everything seems quite familiar but just a bit weary to me.

Where do I go from here? How do I continue to go up? Am I traveling through a plateau?

Oh, and then there's the fact that I'm single. Traveling and being single was cool. Living life in one spot on my own, well that is something I am having to re-adjust to as well.  The gay community in Calgary is small, conservative, and almost non-existent it seems. Okay, I exaggerate a little, but in comparison to big cities like Lima, Bogota, Medellin, Buenos Aires, or even Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto, Calgary is a faint attempt.

Well, let that set the tone for entries to come. Will I go up, will I go down? Or will I just simply continue to plateau?