Last Days (Capurganá, Colombia)

I wrote this on August 5th but never posted it because my homecoming was a surprise. Reading it make me sad...



Well, I've only got 8 days left in South America and I feel sad and remorseful. There is so much more to do here. So many more people meet and experiences to be had. Ironically, I never want to go out and look for them, procrastinator until the very end I suppose.

I remember my last weeks in South East Asia, sitting in a beach in Thailand, relaxing. I was ready to go home. I've said it so many times in the last 4 months or so that I'm ready, but now that the time is near, I have my doubts. I think about what is to come, and I have anxiousness and fear. What will happen to me? What will become of my new life? My independence? My new language?

It has been a challenge these last five weeks, being surrounded by my friends, constantly at my side. Perhaps it's because I've accustomed myself to being alone; one of the goals of this trip. As well, perhaps it's because these friends know the old Dean, and I've had to struggle being two different Deans in front of them. I miss meeting new people and being whomever I want to be. I ask again, what will become of me once I return to my old world filled with old friends, family, and colleagues. I dread the thought.