Thank You Whitney (Quito, Ecuador)

I am not ashamed to say that I have always been a huge fan of Whitney Houston, even after her downfall due to drugs and Bobby Brown. I learned of her passing last night, via facebook and then via google and was automatically saddened. Music has always been a spiritual escape for me, a way for me to find inspiration and joy in various times of my life. It´s interesting how many flashbacks I had last night of my own life and my own memories with Whitney as a backdrop or a soundtrack. 

Quickly, I´d like to share some of these special moments and songs that have been instrumental in my life.  One Moment In Time gave me much strength and inspiration when I was 20 years old, struggling with my own sexuality and with coming out of the closet. I used to listen to the song on a daily basis, telling myself that one day I will have my moment to shine, that I will find the strength to be who I want to be and to live my life where I can be free.  The day I told my familt that I´m gay I went into my bedroom and listened to this song and it brought pure tears of joy streaming uncontrollably down my face, I have never cried like that before.  Thank you Whitney.

The song I Believe In You and Me, has been one of my favorites for a long time, my friend Lillian sang it at her sister´s wedding once, quite beautifully I´d like to add.  As well, when I was maybe 19 or 18 years old, my friend´s brother had committed suicide and I was driving to his house for some prayers. This song was playing in my car, on a blizzardy day of -25 degrees. I had thoughts of Rudson in my head, and as Whitney belted out 'I believe in miracles' something magical or spiritual happened in my car, all the lights had shut out, as if I had blown a fuse, as if Whitney and my thoughts had channeled Rudson´s spirit.  As well, close to the end of my relationship, this song gave me hope that Jeremy and I would be together again, that our love would get us through our hardships, and it did... for another 5 months at least. Thank you Whitney.

As well, My Love Is Your Love, was mine and Jeremy´s song for 12 years. We used to slow dance this song in our house throughout the years together. After our breakup, two days before I left Canada, we danced it one last time, with tears running down our faces.  Thank you Whitney.

This song came out right when I was coming out of the closet, along with Heartbreak Hotel, and the clubs always used to play a dance version which I would rock out to at Boyztown, while I´d be standing upon the speakers thinking I´m cool, proud to be me.  Thank you Whitney.

Me and my girlfriends of many years used to sit around and sing, with a sentimental mood upon our hearts, Count On Me. The song would come to be a constant in my life, and was also played with my friends two days before my leaving Canada, 20 minutes before walking out of my apartment in Marda Loop and moving my belongings into my mother´s house.  Thank you Whitney.

And, again, during my breakup, Whitney´s I Look To You and Try It On My Own once again gave me inspiritation to be me, to find a way to be strong and live my life. Thank you Whitney.

And so now, I am in Ecuador, with no television and crappy wifi at my job.  I am not able to mourn with the millions of fans and viewers as they watch the tributes and the televised funeral.  I am lucky to have friends here who have listened already to my stories, to the soundtrack of my life.  I realize how silly it may sound to mourn over a pop star, but it amazes me how much a musician can affect one´s life.  Rest in Peace Whitney Houston.  You are loved by millions. Thank you for all that you have done in my life, and for what you will continue to do. Your music, your spirit lives on.